Relationship Power Theory: Will You Fall into Pitiful Nanny-Style Love?

1. What is 'nanny-style love'?

'Nanny-style love' (Caregiver Romance Pattern) doesn't refer to real domestic service, but a kind of emotional pattern with severely imbalanced relationship power. In this relationship, one side long plays the role of 'caregiver,' 'savior,' or 'emotional container,' continuously giving time, energy, emotions, and material things, while the other habitually demands, depends, or is emotionally absent.

This kind of relationship is often accompanied by a symbiosis of 'over-responsibility' and 'learned helplessness' - the giver believes 'only if I take care of everything can this relationship survive,' while the receiver gradually loses the ability to handle problems independently.

2. The psychological theories behind it

This test is mainly designed based on the following two classic theoretical frameworks:

• Social Exchange Theory: Interpersonal relationships are a process of exchange. When giving and reward are imbalanced for a long time, power tilts in the relationship. Nanny-style love often shows a vicious cycle of 'high investment - low reward.'
• Anxious-Ambivalent Attachment in attachment theory: some people obtain a sense of security through 'over-giving' and fear being abandoned, thus unconsciously repeating the 'caregiver' role to maintain the connection of the relationship.

3. The four assessment dimensions of this test

Through 16 scenario-based questions, we assess your risk of falling into 'nanny-style love' from the following four dimensions:

• Giving Boundary: Do you find it hard to refuse your partner's requests? Do you habitually take responsibility for them?
• Emotional Involvement: Do you often take responsibility for your partner's emotions? Do you feel 'his bad mood is my fault'?
• Power Perception: In the relationship, do you feel you are more like a 'parent' than a 'partner'? Is the decision-making power concentrated in you alone?
• Self-Depletion: Does this relationship nourish you, or make you more and more exhausted and losing yourself?

4. Test purpose and target audience

This test suits the following people:

• People who often feel 'I'm so tired in the relationship, like taking care of a child'
• People who can't help wanting to solve their partner's problems and arrange their life
• People who doubt whether they are 'over-giving'
• People who want to build a healthier, more equal intimate relationship

5. Scoring and result interpretation

Each question is scored 1-5, from 'completely disagree' to 'completely agree.' Based on the weighted scores of the four dimensions, the system judges your current relationship pattern type and risk level, and provides specific adjustment tips.