Conflict Repair Strategies Test: Do You Make the First Move After a Fight

I. What Are Repair Attempts?

In intimate or deeply cooperative relationships, conflict is almost inevitable. Psychologist John Gottman found in a 40-year study tracking thousands of couples that the key to whether a relationship lasts is often not "whether you fight," but "how you repair after the fight."

Gottman called the behavior of trying to ease tension and stop escalation during conflict "repair attempts". It may be a joke, a look, a step toward each other, even a silent gesture of concession. Truly healthy repair isn't about "winning" - it's about "connecting."

II. Four Typical Patterns of Conflict Repair

Based on Gottman's conflict resolution model and attachment theory, we group conflict-repair strategies into four core dimensions:

• Emotion regulation ability: Whether you can pause and cool down when emotions run high, avoiding aggressive language.
• Accountability tendency: Whether you're willing to admit your own part in the conflict rather than only blaming the other person.
• Reconnection approach: Whether you repair the relationship through verbal communication, physical touch, or gestures of goodwill.
• Long-term relationship perspective: Whether you focus more on "winning in the moment" or on "the relationship's long-term security."

III. The 20 Scenario Questions in This Test

This test uses 20 realistic conflict scenarios to assess your true reactions under pressure. The questions never directly ask "would you apologize"; instead, they indirectly reflect your repair style through behavioral preferences, emotional responses, and decision-making patterns.

Each question's options correspond to different strategy tendencies, and the system will judge which conflict-repair type you belong to based on your scores across the four dimensions.

IV. Purpose of the Test and Who It's For

This test is for anyone who wants to improve an intimate, family, or workplace-collaboration relationship, especially:

• Couples who often fight over small things and struggle to make up
• People who tend to go cold in conflict and don't know how to start talking
• People who want to improve emotional management and communication skills
• People interested in relationship psychology and Gottman's theory

V. Scoring and Result Interpretation

Each question is scored 1-5; a higher score means a stronger tendency on that dimension. The system will analyze your four dimension scores together and give you your closest match: conflict-repair type, along with targeted relationship-improvement advice.