Marriage Checkup: Is There Something Wrong with Your Marriage?

I. What Is an Abnormal Marriage Relationship?

An abnormal marriage relationship does not specifically mean the marriage has broken down, but rather the 'imbalance signals' that appear in a marriage - it could be the gradual distancing of communication, mutual neglect of needs, blurred boundaries, or the rigidity of interaction patterns. These signals are like the sub-health of the body: hard to notice at first, but if ignored for a long time, they slowly erode the foundation of the marriage and eventually trigger deeper conflicts.

Abnormal marriage relationships are often reflected at five core levels, which are also the focus of this test; noticing these signals in advance is the key to keeping a marriage fresh.

II. Core Characteristics of a Healthy Marriage

A healthy marriage is not one without conflicts, but one that has the ability to resolve conflicts and a way of getting along that nourishes both sides. It usually has the following characteristics:

• Able to express needs honestly and also listen patiently to the other person's feelings
• Has a shared rhythm of life and also respects each other's independent space
• Does not avoid or blame when facing conflict, and is willing to look for solutions together
• Has emotional responses to each other, with care and recognition in daily interactions
• Has shared expectations of the marriage and can face life's uncertainties together

III. The Five Dimensions of This Test

This test is designed around the five core dimensions of a marriage relationship, with 20 questions in total, starting from the details of daily life to objectively assess the health of the marriage:

• Emotional Connection: Are your emotional responses to each other timely, and is there heartfelt communication and care in daily life?
• Communication Effectiveness: When facing problems, can you communicate calmly, rather than blaming, giving the silent treatment, or avoiding?
• Sense of Boundaries in Interaction: Do you respect each other's independent space while maintaining an intimate bond?
• Conflict Handling Ability: When disagreements arise, can you stick to the facts and solve the problem together rather than dredging up old grievances?
• Future Consensus: Are your expectations of the marriage and life plans converging, and do you have shared goals?

IV. Purpose of the Test and Target Audience

This test is not a 'verdict' on a marriage, but a 'health report' for it. It is suitable for everyone in a marriage relationship, especially:

• Couples who feel the marriage has become bland and lacks freshness and emotional connection
• Couples who often argue over small things, with communication always reaching a deadlock
• Couples who feel increasingly like strangers and find it hard to understand each other's thoughts
• Couples who want to improve the marriage but do not know where to start
• Couples who hope to avoid marital risks in advance and maintain a healthy marriage

V. Scoring Instructions

Each question is worth 1-5 points, from 'completely agrees' to 'completely disagrees' (the lower the score, the more obvious the abnormal marriage signals). The system first calculates your scores across the five dimensions, then, based on the total score and the combination of dimensions, determines the health level of your marriage and gives targeted improvement advice.